Talking to myself- Jobs

Before I start I just want to point out I am interviewing myself. An odd concept I know, but I wanted to try it. If you haven’t started reading it it is not too late to back out. If you have, please stick with it. It becomes less confusing (I hope!) as it goes on. Thank you.


Okay, first of all why are we doing this again?

I want to evaluate myself somewhat. I want to write out part of my mental attitude towards getting a job, finding a job, why I don’t have a job and why my lack of urgency towards even considering it needs to change.  Also I quite like the idea of writing out interviews, but with nobody to interview about anything worthwhile, I’ll have to interview myself. 

Sounds odd to me, but then this is me. You are me. So on we go. You say your attitude ‘towards getting a job’. What to do with getting a job do you (we)  mean?

Well,  I’ve (we’ve) just turned 20 years old and I(we) have never had a paid job. I (we… I shall not do this for every ‘I’, I just wanted to make it clearer) worked voluntary in a charity shop for a while, working on the shop floor, on the cash till etc. which is technically a proper job, just without the wage or fixed hours to show for it. The experience counts though and it was all good experience. But I’m thinking jobs on the whole now. I deeply regret not trying harder to find the summer job. The holidays from university are long ones, most of my friends have a job or at least sorted work experience out. I feel bad that I didn’t. Plus since I am not earning and they are, I need to be careful that I make my money last. I am also considering my move into  employment following graduation next year. 

One step at a time- ‘regret not trying harder’. At least you tried to find a summer job right? That is a start

Ummm *looks at the floor, shuffles feet, mumbles*. Um yeah I did. I looked online a bit I saw some but nothing suitable really.

‘Nothing suitable’. Did you irrationally rule everything out like you usually do?

*Nods honestly*.  Some genuinely were not suitable for me. Some wanted more experience, things like that. Others were too far to get to without a car. Others sounded incredibly boring… yeah, fine I probably should have considered them ones a bit more.

Your (our) friend recently told you about a job going in a shop. Why didn’t you hand in a CV or something, or even look into it?

Erm. Okay, I irrationally ruled it out. Not saying I would have been perfect at it but I do have shop experience now. I can deal with customers well enough. It isn’t a shop I tend to go in (a clothes shop- I only really use New Look, Top Shop, Forever 21 or H+M and it wasn’t one of those) but I am familiar enough with it and could have looked more into it. I just, dunno. This is just it. I see a opportunity but won’t try and take it. My mentality is all wrong. It is too negative

Now we are getting somewhere. Negative mentality. Let’s think for a second. Why do you WANT a job? 

Well, I’ve already mentioned money. That’s mostly why people work isn’t it? (I do have a cynical view of the world). I hear my friends talking together about work and I feel a bit left out and a bit plain. Using a Nando’s analogy, they for example, are the medium or lemon and herb- they have added substance. Me on the other hand, I’m more plain. Nice and that, but nothing extra to make me more interesting.  I want to be able to have that (work- not chicken) as a conversational subject. I want to feel I have done something useful with my time. I’m starting to want to earn my own money rather than relying on pocket money. I feel by the age of 20 I should have at least had some proper full working experience. More than working 4 hours a week now and again voluntarily.

Okay, we’ve been over the summer job thing. Let’s move on for a bit. You mentioned work experience. What sort did you apply for?

I didn’t. (Honesty is the best policy)

Why on Earth not? A week out of your long summer would have been no great loss? You may have found a job or work industry you really like. You may have made good contacts for the future. You may have hated it and discovered what you really want to do. You ma..

OKAY! Stop going on. (The good thing about interviewing yourself is that you can interrupt whenever you like without being rude). I get it. I should have looked into it more. I looked a bit but I felt it too late to apply anywhere. I didn’t know when to say I was free because I didn’t know when I finished Uni so when I’d be in what city. I don’t know where I want to work, like what careerwise I want to do. I don’t kn…

You’re wittering. You always do.  You are putting obstacles in the way. Again. Any general idea- if you had found work experience there would have helped. But no you did nothing. Again.

You do realise you are me? You are just a slightly different part of my brain represented by being written in a different font size and colour?

Now you are being sarcastic and pedantic. Okay fine, looking at the bigger picture, when you leave university, what do you want to do?

Buy an away season ticket for the Albion? (As I mentioned on Twitter, I answered this very answer when another human asked me this very question and although it wasn’t the planned answer they wished to hear, it was the correct one). Okay, job wise. I really don’t know. I am doing a history degree but I don’t really wish to work in a museum or become a professional historian or anything. And not a teacher. 100% no to teaching.  I suppose, yeah, I like writing. But I don’t like being told what to write. Although I could write something for magazines etc. Maybe I should look into that sort of thing. But like I said, I don’t like being told what to write or how to write. Thing is as well, I get bored easily. My mind wonders a lot. Take this blog for example. It is all about anything. The idea of a set job with set hours doing the same thing, I can’t do that. That may be why I like writing. I can write what I feel when I feel it. But as a profession it is totally different.

You don’t like criticism do you?

No one likes being told they are bad at something. Constructive criticism I can take. At least, I am getting better at taking it.

So are you going to apply for work experience of some sort? Volunteer for the uni magazine maybe?

…Maybe.

What harm is there in at least applying? That’s it isn’t it. It isn’t the prospective job you don’t like, it’s the process. You fear failing?

Erm. No. Well. Everyone fears failing don’t they? Not reaching expectation. Disappointment is the worst feeling there is.

Okay, so it is the rejection you are scared of? Being told by employers that they won’t accept you or you are not right for the role? Even just that the work experience slots being taken?

*shrugs*.I know it is daft. Employment-wise everyone gets rejected at some point for whatever reason. The more times I apply and get rejected the more I will be used to the feeling. I can take that negatively- become depressed that I am not seen as good enough- or I can take the positives. I can use it to become more determined to find the right role. I can use it to show I can bounce back. I just need to become a bit more bolder.

You have highlighted a few of your bad characteristics: negativity, put obstacles in the way, fear of rejection. There must be good things too though? Imagine if a future employer is reading this. Sell yourself a bit?

Urgh, ‘sell yourself”. I hate that phrase. It makes you appear ridiculously arrogant and as if you have no weaknesses. And if you don’t you appear overly modest. There is no right way to do so.  But what I will say is I am a damn good worker, I am efficient, I am punctual, I get work done, I have high standards workwise. I have a good sense of humour (Not sure if employers look for this but I’m throwing it in for good measure)  A lot of this post will not have painted me in a brilliant light but if anything I have been honest. Everyone has weaknesses and flaws, but being honest about them can be difficult. I think honesty with other people an yourself is incredibly valuable.

Okay, nearing the end now, just want to ask, why are some of your answers in brackets and italics (like this)?

Pah, you aren’t supposed to see those. It is what is on my mind as I answer to provide clarity or add-ins for the people reading this.

Do you think people will read this?

Somebody somewhere will maybe. It is a blog post after all. But let it be said I have written this as much for me and my own sake as I have for anybody else.

Have you learned anything from this interview?

Yeah. I’ve learned it is good to get things off your chest. I’ve set out some of my thoughts and attitudes and reading through them is quite helpful. I’ve enjoyed sharing some of these thoughts. It helps me understand me a bit more. If that makes sense

Anything else?

Yeah.  Interviewing yourself is a bit confusing. Pretty therapeutic though. And it is certainly a lot of fun.

*I notice a few of the questions still appear in Black not Red. I am aware of this and would love to have some explanation as to how this helps present my thoughts. But I don’t. It just shows a slight ongoing technical fault

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